29 April 2011

Leaving the house yesterday was no big deal. We loaded up everything that we had taken inside two days before (mattresses from the Airstream & a few toiletries) & found their places in the truck & trailer. Josh let me do just about all of the hitching up duties so that I could get in some practice. You know, in case he has some sort of major, or minor, medical issue that would cause him to be unable to do it. Joking aside, I want to know how to do it all on my own. Not just to help or put in my share of manual labor around here either. I want to feel self-sufficient enough to not panic if ever I’d need to man the show. Woman the show. Anyway, we pulled out of the driveway & left without so much as a “bye house”. And it was over.

That’s probably not fair. This wasn’t the first time we’d left that house. On another occasion weeks ago, I got a little teary eyed. And rightfully so. That house was every girl’s dream home. It was cozy & warm & secure. It was beautiful & it was located in a safe neighborhood. There is no way imaginable, even in a do-over, that I could have ever wanted for more. So, I will not hide the fact that it was sad to walk away from. While I know in my heart that the right thing to do for us now is to make changes & to grow & learn from them, I cannot forget the lessons we learned from that house. It taught us so much.

The big deal goodbye was leaving Josh’s folks’ house in Humboldt.

That’s definitely not fair. The really BIG deal goodbye was in Manhattan with our 11-year-old daughter Cody. It’s hard for me to muster up the will to talk about it here. So, I’m not going to. I will say though that I believe Cody will benifit immensly from our changes & from the way things have worked out. She will stay in Manhattan with her Dad & other Mom for her school semesters & travel with us for the summer. I gave her my iPod Touch before we left so that we can text back & forth & that has helped tremendously in feeling connected to her. We also left behind an iMac that she can use to get online & iChat. Seeing her & talking face-to-face is priceless. Apple has really taken it to a ho-nuvva-lebble in our family.

Back to Humboldt. After our final garage sale, our final Craigslist ad, and our almost-final modification to the Airstream, we set off on a three-hour drive to Josh’s hometown where the rest of the Works family lives. The plan was to stay as long as it took us to do the final modification, the desk. We thought that it might take a week, or a bit longer. Amateurs. I believe we were there three weeks. Now, don’t get me wrong, it was a fantastic three weeks. Josh was able to get work done & Jack was able to spend lengthy time with family he otherwise sees for mere hours or days at a time. I was able to do a few things that helped me find a little more confidence in myself. Which seems to be a big deal for me this year.

Let me toot my own horn here for a second. This year I’ve managed to do a few things that have never even been on my radar of things to accomplish or skills to learn. It seems that all of this drive & inspiration to do things more thoughtfully is paying off for me in the stepping out of my comfort zone department. And it feels really good to know that I can do these not-so-me things. I’m actually enjoying it. So much so that they feel natural & important. More on those things later.

Anyway, I am extremely thankful that I can say that I’m appreciative that one week turned into three weeks there in Humboldt. I loved living with my in-laws so much that I would have voted to move in permanately. I know that’s a ridiculous sentence, but I don’t know how else to say that I genuinely love being in their presence. They are kind-hearted & inspire me to be passionate about my interests. They are wonderful to their children & remind me to be the best parent I can be. Josh’s mom Janie has more patience with kids than I’ve ever seen in anyone. And even though I’ve never really been one to hug, it makes me unbelievably happy to get a hug from Josh’s dad Joe. Mostly though, I just plain enjoy hanging out with them. How many people get to say that?

So yeah, it honestly felt like Humboldt was the harder house to leave. We actually had to turn around about 6 miles down the road & do it all over again as luck would have it. Josh jumped out before we got on the highway to see if everything was still in its place. I knew it wasn’t good when he came up on my side of the truck saying that we needed towels & to hurry up. The worst thing, out of everything we had in the trailer, decided to spill itself all over our floor. Maple Syrup. An unsucessful tiedown of a loose pantry door resulted in an hour delay (as if we haven’t already had our fair share) & more things for Josh to dis & re-assemble. But we made it, we’re out there & it’s all been worth it.